by Sr. Clare Walsh, Floating Hospital
Jackie's Eulogy 2/22/90
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| Jackie |
Of one thing I am certain: Everyone in this church has a Jackie Pequita story. We each know a piece of this valiant young woman, and it is my privilege to share something of my Jackie story. Others who know better than me of her playfulness and passion for life, can take comfort from that. I take great comfort in a young woman who was attentive to God's surprises.
Although Jackie believed leukemia was not of God, she did believe that God could bring good from it, and God did so with a great deal of help from Jackie. When leukemia forced months of isolation in a sterile hospital room, she turned it into a 17 year-old's dream with New Kids on the Block staring from every corner, and cards and balloons from friends surrounding her.
When Jackie lost her hair to chemotherapy, a special hat became her trademark. Her presence made her room a sanctuary and nurses vied to care for her, for we all took from her spirit.
I take great comfort in the power that one person struggling for life had to inspire the staff, patients, and families in a place affectionately known to many as the Floating Hospital. She was for all who spent time there, a source of amazing grace.
I take great comfort in a young woman whose life was centered around God. A daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a friend who prayed each day for those who hoped for health and for whom being confirmed and being Sarah's Godmother, became the focus of her energy and her dream - an event in which Jackie truly presided and whose courage made all around her tremble.
I take great comfort in the strength of a frightened, courageous teenager, who when told she would die, said unselfishly as she lived, "Tell Julie and Chris I'll take care of Alison" (a 22 month-old child fighting a horrible cancer).
I take great comfort in my young friend who, anticipating heaven, asked me if there was anything I would like her to mention to God. And, oh, there was, and she listened attentively as I entrusted to her the concerns of my heart.
I take great comfort in the faith of Jackie, who believed that nothing is unholy, everything is charged by the presence of God and who, on the day before she died, hosted a birthday party for her uncle in her hospital room, as if to tell us, life goes on, keep celebrating.
I pray that Jackie and God will enjoy each other, and that nothing of her life will be lost but be held sacred by we who loved her.
Her mom often referred to her daughter as a class act and, indeed, she was.
Holy is the name of God. Holy was the young woman named Jackie.
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Jay and I remained on the Executive Board of the New Bedford High School Marching Band during Jackie's illness because we hoped our continued participation would inspire Jackie to keep a positive attitude towards her difficult treatments and hospital stay, as well as, show our belief in her recovery. We band parents had been raising money to finance a trip to Florida, where the kids
had been invited to perform in Disneyworld during the April, 1990 school vacation. After Jackie relapsed and her transplant was canceled, her hopes of joining her friends on this trip were dashed, and we gave up our spots as chaperones. With her death, it has felt too painful to go without her.
However, Jackie's band family has embraced us in a way I will never forget. They have invited Kristine to carry the N.B.H.S. banner down Disneyworld's Main Street, in memory of her sister. Kristine is both flattered and honored, since her heart is set on auditioning for the color guard this coming August. They also have made Beth an honorary member, by having miniature color guard
flags made especially for her. On top of everything, the parents have voted to use Jackie's allotted trip allowance to pay Kristine's expenses.
With building the house, incurring so many expenses during Jackie's illness, losing my income to care for her and paying for her funeral, we are flat broke. Never before have we asked my parents for financial help. Now there's no choice. We have to take the trip to Disneyworld, to be a part of such a tribute to Jackie.
My parents and my brother, Tom, and his family decided they want to witness Kristine's honored place in the band, too. Traveling with over one hundred and thirty kids, chaperones and instructors, plus all the instruments, flags, and uniforms is a great adventure. Despite it being bittersweet, seeing my girls with these band kids lifts my spirits. It's so obvious that Jackie's friends
need to be with Kris and Beth, just as much as Kris and Beth need to be with them.
By noon, the sun is on fire, and the temperature soars to a scorching ninety-three degrees on Disneyworld's Main Street. The kids must wear their winter marching uniforms, and they dread the thought of getting dressed. Luckily, the dressing rooms are air-conditioned. Knowing that once they hit the sunshine they're going to roast, I take charge of the girls in the color guard and
cut off the sleeves and body of their turtleneck jerseys, leaving only the neck, dickeys style, under their sequined tops. That should help a little.
The Disney crew takes the kids underground to the staging area. Not wanting to miss a moment of the parade, we join our group of family and friends at the head of Main Street. The heat is so oppressive that everyone looks as if they're about to wilt. The sun is blazing mercilessly, and there isn't a cloud in the sky to provide relief.
When I hear the drums, I offer up a silent prayer to my special angel. Then, as if by magic, the moment the twirling flags are visible, a cloud appears and the sun kindly slides behind it. A gentle breeze begins to blow and immediately the searing temperature is brought down by ten degrees. It's then that I hear Manny, my friend and fellow chaperone, announce for all to hear, "It's
Jackie, she's here. She's taking care of her friends."
By the time the band reaches us, every one is in tears. Even a family from England, whom we told about Jackie while we were waiting for the parade to begin, is crying.
As I watch Kris lead this talented group of young musicians, looking so proud and smiling from ear to ear, I know Manny is right - Jackie is here. I can see her in Kristine's smile.
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Press Day & Donor/Volunteer Recognition was held on
Monday, December 12, 2005
During the months of October & November, Bethany, Jackie's youngest sister, was very hard at work on the "Show House with a Heart" project. She was one of 18 designers who came together to renovate the interiors of the Devon Nicole House at Children's Hospital in Boston.
Devon Nicole House provides affordable housing for families while their children receive medical care at the hospital. Beth, along with 3 other designers from Christina Oliver Interiors
in Newton, MA donated over 100 hours of design time to this project. Their task was to redesign and furnish one of the largest bedrooms, creating a warm and friendly environment for the families. Each bedroom was to reflect a serene, restful, and soothing imagery.
We are honored to say there is a plaque stating that the work was done in memory of Jackie, as well as Julie Johnson, sister of Christina Oliver, who also passed away from leukemia.
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| Christina Oliver, ASID & Beth, ASID Student Member |
Way to go Beth! I know Jackie is smiling down from heaven in thanks to you and all those who have dedicated so much time and energy to this worthwhile cause.
We are so proud of you!
Love, Mom & Dad
In Loving Memory of My Sweet Jackie
September 18, 1973 - February 18, 1990
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| Susan, Beth (center background) & Jay - The Relay for Life |
Just prior to the death of my sixteen-year-old daughter Jacqueline to leukemia in 1990, my brother, Tom Mello, had been busy raising money to help finance a trip I would have needed to make to accompany Jackie while she underwent a life-saving bone marrow transplant at the University of Kentucky. Unfortunately, Jackie became too ill to travel and the procedure was cancelled. Knowing she would never be able to use the money personally, she made a wish list of items the children on "7 North" so desperately needed and asked that we see to it that this wish was fulfilled. Sadly, Jackie passed two days later.
It was then we established The Friends of Jackie Memorial Fund, which distributes scholarships, charitable contributions, and gifts for local families in need of assistance.
If you would like to make a contribution to the Friends of Jackie Memorial Fund please contact Susan through this website at mama_mazenga@thesamesmile.com or make checks payable to Friends of Jackie and mail to:
Friends of Jackie
c/o Susan Souza
P. O. Box 30332
Acushnet MA 02743
Or, directly through...
New Bedford Credit Union
1150 Purchase Street
New Bedford, Ma 02740
508-994-6546
Your donation will be greatly appreciated,
Susan, Jay, Joanne, Kristine & Bethany
The Friends of Jackie Gang
Standard Times article - Friday, June 3, 2005
Remembering Jackie
"Friends of Jackie" Gala Fund Raiser
A Big Success!
A gala fund raiser was held on Friday, June 17th in honor of the 15th anniversary of Jackie's passing, to benefit the clinic where Jackie was so lovingly treated - Children's Oncology Clinic at New England Medical Center's Floating Hospital for Children.
Many thanks go to our family and friends who so generously gave of their time and treasure, helping to keep Jackie's memory alive for those of us who love and miss her so much!
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Grief Dreams: How They Help Heal Us After the Death of a Loved One
by Dr. TJ Wray
Professor - Salve Regina University, Newport, RI
www.griefdreams.com
The book, Grief Dreams, is available for purchase thru Amazon.com.
Here is an excerpt of Susan's dream story...
"During the summer of 2000, I was beside myself with mixed, bittersweet emotions. Emotions so powerful, I finally sought the help of a therapist. Therapy I so badly needed and never received after the loss of two of my four daughters...
...this dream made me feel as if Jackie had entered my soul
to soothe the ten-year wound that resulted from her death.
And, I think she wanted to remind me that she is always with
me. It's been nearly four years since this particular dream
occurred and there are still times when I can actually feel
her body's warmth at my back, or by my side. I can still envision
her beautiful, bluish-green eyes peering into mine. I will
always cherish the love we shared." by Susan Mello
Souza 2004
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Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies
By T.J. Wray
"This site is dedicated to the formation of a support community for those who have suffered the devastating loss of an adult sibling. Although the subjects of death, dying, and grief are more widely discussed now than in years past, the subject of adult sibling grief has been largely ignored by the grief support community, leaving surviving adult siblings to endure their grief in silence. For some reason, our society fails to recognize the depth of love we feel for our brothers and sisters and the consequent grief felt at their passing. Aside from our parents, our siblings are the only people who have known us for our entire life. The purpose of this site is to offer comfort and support to the thousands of individuals who will experience the death of an adult sibling and to promote the exchange of ideas and wisdom." www.adultsiblinggrief.com
Susan's Thoughts on TJ's Book
"From the very first sentence, I was awestruck, mesmerized. I could not put this book down. TJ's heartfelt candor brought me on a journey of soulful insight and greater appreciation of what my daughters experienced in the loss of their older sister, Jackie; an event, forever blemishing their cherished sisterhood. Surviving the Death of a Sibling has helped to soothe their wounds, leading them on a path of healing and peace. It is a must read." by Susan Mello Souza
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